Relationship & Dating Advice

Ex-boyfriend revenge?

"I got pregnant by a married man that took my weaknesses for granted. I've never had a strong male figure in my life, and he's a lot older, so he was what I had been missing. Things happened, he broke my heart; I had an abortion, and now I realize that everything he said and did was a lie. I don't feel that it's fair for him to move on, and not feel the pain he put me through! How can I hurt him on the sly -- basically, make him realize and regret ever hurting me?"
-More Than Just Miffed in Memphis

Adrian: Wait, you want to do something on-the-sly, but you want him to realize it was you? You need to make up your mind!

On-the-sly revenge shows a willingness to cause someone harm, but not to accept the responsibility -- and the potential consequences -- for your actions. If you're not willing to accept responsibility, then you should realize that what you're planning is probably immoral, illegal, or both.

Michelle: Why spend the time and energy to get revenge, anyway? You should move on with your life, and do something more constructive than trying to figure out how to hurt someone. You'll only cause more pain, and possibly get yourself in even more trouble.

Do something nice for yourself. Why not take a little vacation, or buy yourself something? Spend some time with yourself, and wait until you're ready before you get back in the dating pool.

Adrian: I couldn't agree more.

Definitely wait until you're ready before you date again; you shouldn't carry those bad ex-boyfriend grudges over to another relationship. It's unfair to judge one person based on another's actions.

Michelle: And speaking of actions, here's one to avoid: dating married men! If you didn't know that the guy was married, I can understand the depth of your anger. If you did, though, you were asking for all sorts of trouble, and unfortunately you found it.



NOTE: THE ADVICE IN THIS ARTICLE IS NOT PROVIDED BY A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL, RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR OR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.


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